How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
