i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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