Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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