Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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