is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
