ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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