Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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