So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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