And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
