How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
