I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize