if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
