And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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