The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
we're so committed to being not committed
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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