it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I need a burrito and a hug.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
