just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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