So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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