I never want to see another naked old woman again.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
