I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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