Soap is not a condiment
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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