Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
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What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
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She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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