WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
