using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
