The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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