So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
