Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
