she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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