are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
