no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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