i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
