In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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