with your own penis?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
