gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
