If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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