So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
