Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize