omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
