she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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