Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
