i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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