If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
