I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
