Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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