Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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