sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
