Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I think im going to throw up on grandma
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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