Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize