Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
