i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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