Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
