I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
