Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
