A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
