btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
