I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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