seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
