There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
