you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
