Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
