I didn't shave. On purpose
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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