I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
