I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
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